Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Giveaway Winner and a Small Confession

Hey all! How's it going? I have a little confession to make but first I'd like to start off by announcing the winner of the Kingdom by Jessica Levitt giveaway!

Marieke of Dash and Tilde

Congratulations Marieke! Send me an email with your address and I'll pick a few cuts to send out to you! Gosh guys, I just love doing giveaways - it's so fun to share new fabric and notions and stuff with you all and trust me (!) I already have a few more lined up.

Okay, so I guess it's confession time. I've been fretting for awhile about whether or not I should just put this out there to everyone, but I figured that it might make me feel a bit better and in the process explain a few things. Here we go... I haven't sewn or quilted a thing in over a month. I have cross stitched and knit and I've designed and I've cut fabric but I have not actually touched my sewing machine since I completed the custom pillow cover I sold in July. I did not mean for things to go like this, I have plans and projects that need to be completed but I have been having a hard time even contemplating actually getting behind the machine.

The past month (or few months really) have been a little tough for me, on top of being injured and having the windows replaced in my sewing area (which of course equalled no sewing), I have been a little down. You all know that I graduated from my Masters program in June and since then I have been looking for a job - I have the same part time job at the library on campus that I had while in was in school but I can't keep it after the summer and the job search has not been going well. Unfortunately librarian jobs are hard to get at this time, but I don't want to take another sort of job and give up on that dream  - I worked long and hard and I don't want to give in now!

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed by the quilting/blogging world for the last bit and have sort of hidden myself away in an attempt to cut myself off from some of the negativity and bad feelings that seem to rise up in this world every once in awhile. I don't want to hide away though and I don't want to stop doing the things that I love to do no matter how clique-y and sometimes hurtful it can be. I know I'm sounding like a negative nelly right about now, and I don't want to stop blogging or take a break or anything, I just want to get my mojo back and start doing what I love again! I've been trying to pretend that I'm a 'tough cookie' and just suck it up and get on with it but sometimes it gets hard trying to do everything on your own without anyone to talk to about it. So now I've put it all out there!

The quilting world moves so quickly and I'm afraid that I'm falling behind, but I am going to catch up! I've begun work on a new tutorial tonight and hopefully I'll be posting it within the next few days. All of the fabric is cut and ready to go - I just need to get behind my machine and fire her up!

Wish me luck everyone, I could really use it right now.


  1. Sending you giant hugs my dear! :)

    I know what you mean about losing your mojo. While Michael was away for that month, there were many days where I just did nothing. I didn't want to sew, think about sewing, or think about doing anything really. I ended up having to make bargains with myself to get anything done! "10 minutes on pinterest if i do this.." and so on, hehe.

    The recent negativity going about has been a major bummer, and I'm trying my best to simply ignore it, but it's hard when it's personal to you. I hope that you can find some peace in it all and put it behind you. Much easier said than done! I do hope you'll sew again soon! I miss seeing your yummy creations! :)

    Good luck with your job search! Hopefully things will look up for you! I'm going to be doing that soon as well and I am not looking forward to it! It's stressful just thinking about it!

  2. Downtime, as in taking a rest, we all know how important that is. After a burst of physical activity or a period of great achievments, it's one of the ways we pamper ourselves.

    But FeelingDownTime? We just try to shrug it off, or we hate it (feeding negativity with negativity), when it is really just as important to have a good emotional rest after a lot of highs, like graduating (Congrats!). Give into it, but don't get mired in it. Explore its source and nature so you can deal with it and get back in balance.

    I'm sure you've already thought of this, but in case you hadn't, look into positions with publishers, large law firms or other corporations that might maintain their own libraries.

  3. You know what Kaye, do what you love, what brings you joy and never...never worry about "being left behind". What everybody else is doing or not doing, or publishing or designing or whatever...makes not a hill of beans if it takes the joy away from what you are doing. Be authentically you as you always are, do what you want for no one but you (in your craft, not in regards to the boyfriend! LOL) and you will be right where you are meant to be. Be happy : ) and dog gone economy! Hope you snatch up a great librarian job very very soon!

  4. i'm sorry you've been feeling down Kaye.
    it's hard to be everything all at the same time.
    I don't know of the negativity you are speaking but you can only be you--and you can only do what you can. The only person that knows what you are made of is you (and maybe Alex)so no one should have an opinion on you or your work.
    if you ever want to talk to a fellow Canadian who would love to be in the world of quilting more --but knows it's not her time--shoot me an email.
    I don't know how you could possibly fall behind in the quilting's been around forever and you'll only get more ideas as long as you live so timing will be what it will :)

  5. Good luck! I hear ya on the job front. I graduated my master's program last year, have applied for probably 20-30 jobs in the last six months, and have not gotten an interview, or even one little call back. Just rejection after impersonal rejection.

    Just keep plugging along. Ignore any negativity and just do things that you love.

  6. Back when I turned 21, my mother gave me a little book of inspiring quotes. One of my favorites is 'Happiness is not a place to arrive at but a method of traveling'. To me this means it doesn't matter what you're doing, as long as you are enjoying yourself.... And try not to be disheartened by the job situation, taking a job in the interim is not giving up on your dream! It gives you the opportunity to look for an opening that would be perfect....

    Keep at it Kaye!

  7. It's always good to recharge your batteries and try to put things into perspective. Take your time and enjoy the process. You'll be back at it in no time!

    Best wishes to you in your job search. Stay positive!

  8. the blog world can suck you in and spit you out trying to keep up with everything. I think part of it is this being summer too. We all get overwhelmed with everything else outside of blogging and then when others are constantly doing---it frustrates us.

    Yep. Been there too. Bloggers also lean on one another too though.

    Thank you for sharing your feelings/thoughts Kaye. It does help to get it all out.

    Can't wait to see your tute!!

  9. Good luck in your job search it is tough going out there right now. Do what you love and everything will be alright. I have come to believe that when things look like they are too perfect they seldom really are, blogs included.

  10. Kaye, you were one of the very first bloggers who I "fell in love" with when I discovered this world about a year and a half ago! Your style, your enthusiasm, your creativity, it showed me many things and encouraged me along, even tho you didn't know it and I don't comment often. Please feel better soon! Looking forward to that tutorial you mentioned!

  11. I read a negative post on another blog yesterday and it totally bugged me! It wasn't mean per se, but just so highly critical of a fabric designer.....I just didn't see the point of it.
    I am also working my way out of my year + slump/depression. It's hard. I like the advice above from Ruth - it's the journey, not the destination.
    I should get that tattooed on my palm!
    xoxo :)

  12. Good luck in your job hunt!!! It is such a ruff economy out there, but hold fast, you will find that dream job out there!!!

  13. Hang in there. Sometimes the best things come when you are least expext it. :)

  14. hope you feel better soon. sorry you have been blue. i am excited for your new tutorial though. i have an idea for one myself...

  15. I'm so sorry you've been feeling down! I think any time you really pour yourself into something (like your education), there's a feeling of loss when it's over, especially when things aren't going as you plan. I hope the perfect job comes your way very soon! Any library would be lucky to have you.

  16. Kaye ~ I am not really "in" the quilting world but have seen some of the negativity because I am an avid blog reader/follower of many of the quilting blogs as I attempt to learn as much as possible about quilting. I'm so sorry it's affected you and hope you can look past it all and get back to your love of creating awesome quilts and other things.

    Not finding a job you dearly love when you already have negative feelings can just add SO much more and push you over the edge so I think I can safely say we can all understand that.

    I am much older than you (we won't say HOW much K? ) and maybe what I say won't help at all but I went through a really rough time years ago when my kids were small and there was a lot of negativity in my life. It was horrible to overcome it. It had a terrible toll on my mental state but I was tough and trudged onward. It is hard though so I know how you're feeling even if it was for other reasons in my case. Sad/upset/stressed - it still hits us alike for the most part.

    Anyway, maybe this will help?? Try asking yourself in regard to all that negative stuff in the blogworld - will this REALLY be something that will follow me 5 yrs from now? Will it matter in that period of time or will it be water under the bridge and be forgotten? If you can say yes, then try as much as possible to just ignore it all. If you have to then stop visiting those blogs that you've seen that and ignore those types. Know that you're better than that and you create awesome things and your 'fans' want to see what YOU can do, not what others say. Clique's are tough to ignore I know. I have been the target of those in the past and it is NO FUN at all. I cried and then got mad and realized that no matter what I said or did they were not going to change their mind no matter what I said or did so I stood my ground knowing in my heart nothing they said was going to change me for who I am.

    I'm just rambling now but maybe something I said will help. Now - go plug that machine in and make something that makes YOU happy. Maybe a new sign for the wall right in front of your machine that says - "will this bug me in 5 years?" Then with your hand embroidery skills put a cute little bug right below that. A cute little bug with a Cheshire cat-like grin. LOL

    BIG HUGS HON! It will get better and I can guarantee all of this will be forgotten 5 years from now. By then you will have THE BEST JOB in the world and you will be having a blast with your quilting.

  17. Sometimes life is just overwhelming that way and you have to step back and say 'you know what, it's quite okay for me not to make all those things I have on my to do list, and the world will not end if I don't blog, or read another blog for a while'.

    I've been caught in that hamster wheel, trying depserately to do everything, but you need to take time to regroup, work towards the most important thing here (ie your career), and let everything else fall into place behind it.

    Good luck :o)

  18. Hello Kaye,
    I only started reading your blog a short time ago but it has given me so much inspiration and I want to compliment you on your creativity and all of the time and effort you put into it.
    Job searching is one of the most difficult processes in life. Unfortunately, when you have your sights set on the "right" job it can take a very long time. Coming out of grad school my husband spent over 6 months searching and I know how diffucult it was for him during that time. I'm sure that you'll find what you're looking for. Best wishes to you for strength and luck in the hunt.

  19. I'm not sure what the negativity is that you speak of, but I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. I hope things get better soon, and I know the job search has got to be rough. I admire your holding out for the job you really want, though.
    By the way, your shawl in progress below is beautiful! I hope your wrist is feeling better!

  20. I know what you mean about the blogging world, and I have a good friend who is a librarian in Denver who went through the same thing you are now -- but she found a great job she loves! I'm sending you the same positive vibes I sent to her!!

  21. I have to work to keep my mojo flowing this year.
    When you get laid off as I did or after school you cannot find work it effects your internal happy creative button.
    I have found that if you create and write out a daily plan, then you will feel your mojo. It wont be as fierce as when you were stressed with work and school. But if you work at it you will find it, and it can be nurtured.
    Good luck..K

  22. It's lovely to see you back!

    Poor you on the job front - I was so miserable when I couldn't find a job in the area I wanted after finishing university, and then one more or less fell into my lap just when I'd given up all hope. You never know what's around the corner!

    And I have given up all hope of keeping up with the online quilting world. I am increasingly trying to limit myself to doing whatever I fancy, when I fncy, and hoping that the odd person swings by my blog to what I've been up to!

  23. Hang in there, Kaye. As a librarian, I totally understand what you're talking about. The jobs are few and far between, and it really requires diligence and patience. It will happen--I'm living proof!

  24. lots of good wishes coming your way
    An old acquaintance of mine ended up as a law librarian -- another took a grant paid short hours job at a tiny "technical center" that was also a lending library -- and another is a media center specialist under the high school library (he knows pcs and equipment too) -- and now runs that media center. Another became a school reading specialist who manages the school's classroom books for the reading teachers. I'm guessing you may be thinking outside the box -- here are a few ideas -- and networking did the trick for these guys to find a job.

  25. Why do we as women feel so guilty for having times when we just can't get up and get going. Kay my dear take it from an old lady (68)lol, this is just a cycle of life. You have been working really hard the last few years to accomplish what you have and now you just need some down time. Don't give up on your passion it will come when the time is right.
    Just pick up something small to do just to get your happy feelings back.
    The job market is no different then 30 years ago I remember many young girls coming out of university and having to work in retail till the dream came true.
    Good luck and Blessings Sandra

  26. I agree with many of the other comments. It's rough after you finish grad school. It's almost like you have been working so hard for so long that once it's all over, you feel so drained. Take some time and re-group. Do things you love. Make things you love. Keep putting in those applications. Don't give up. And the hell with what others in the blogging world think. That's the one thing that has always bothered me about the quilting/blogging world. Perhaps it's because it's a mainly female dominated thing, but I find the cattiness/cliques unsettling. It's like high school all over again. What difference does it make as long as you are making things that you love and make you happy? There will always be negative people out there. But you can't let it get to you. Not everyone is going to love the same fabric or quilting style. I wasn't aware that the quilting world was moving without us. There are many women (and men) in my quilting guild that are so intense. I wonder if they are at the sewing machine all day long. I don't have that luxury- have to pay for my own grad school. So yes, some people will quilt more than others (crank them out). But I just quilt/sew to make myself happy. No expectations. When it stops being fun, you have to regroup. Find inspiration in art, nature....
    I guess what this rambling comment is trying to say is hang in there! Have some fun. As hard as it is when you are in a funk- go out with friends. Hope the arm is better.

  27. Take your time, find a job that will make you feel fulfilled! We will all be here when you make it back. Just remember that amongst all the negativity out there, there are also many good and supportive people who want you to be successful. Wishing you luck with the job search :-)

  28. Kaye,

    Thanks for posting this. It's never easy to admit that you're feeling "off". I've been in a bit of a funk this summer, too, so your words really resonated.

    Good luck finding a job. You can do it! May good things come with the change in the season.